tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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