I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
