he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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