How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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