areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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