I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
This is my gift to your gina
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
