i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
