Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
