I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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