oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
