garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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