party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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