In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize