How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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