Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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