Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
