How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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