At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
