Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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