When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
