Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
True strength comes from lack of pants
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize