She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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