They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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