Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
