porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
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