no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
