I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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