I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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