3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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