i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
