Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Your cock deserves a montage
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
