he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
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