He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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