I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
