do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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