just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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