So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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