Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
