yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
