I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
