i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
