she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
