I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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