there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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