My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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