Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
