found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
