This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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