Can i not drive my cunt home
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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