Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
