My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
