woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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