Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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