When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
