He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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