Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
