I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
