party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
