I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
