After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
someone owes me an orgasm
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
