I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
